Anything Could Happen

This seems appropriate considering my last post featured Ellie Goulding.

I'm a blogging, writing mood, so let's ramble and see where we go shall we?

The summer happened. I took classes and will get a certificate alongside my degree so that's rather neat.

Working at Summer Camps turned out to be a bit of a bust, but it was an experience none the less. The universe then presented the opportunity of working for the Capilano Student's Union. I officially left Running Room in August, and now also work an independent running store alongside my CSU job. So that's a plus.

I ended my long term relationship which last post I was beyond stoked about. Funny how things change . He didn't love me any more and we wanted different things. I am bitter and upset about it but I am moving forward and focusing on myself and what I want in the future. Yes that's blunt. Yes it seems mean but I don't see a point in sugar coating it. Maybe we can be friends one day, but not right now.

With this I have plans to runaway to Europe for a couple months in the fall. It's high time I did something for me.

School has been good. I officially graduate next Spring. I got through critical thinking which was amazing.

Both my dogs are gone. Shortly after break up they both passed away. I miss having a dog to cuddle when I come home after a rough day.  Bad things happen in threes. So I'm done now I think

I'm seeing someone. Sure most think I've moved to fast. But the nice part about an open relationship is it takes a lot of pressure off and the traditional relationship is a lot more work and effort then I'm willing to put in right now.

He makes me smile. I enjoy his company and respects me. I call it a win.

Driving is non existent. Anxiety is mangeable as well as depression but we shall see how NYE goes, considering the last time I was single I was a bit of a hot mess.

2015 holds a lot in store for me. I look forward to what the universe will present to me.

I'm doing ok. I really do mean that.

Sure I'm lonely. Sure I'm sad but it's getting better. Time heals everything. Cliche it's so true.

I want to improve my fitness . I want to get this driving thing dealt with. Like put it to rest.

2014 is not ending how I thought it would. But it always could be worse.

I do miss a lot of things. But I know things will get better

"I'm on a rollercoaster that only goes up my friend"
I spend way too much time looking up John Green but this quote is perfect here
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Starry Eyed

In some ways things are terribly wonderful! In other ways they are just awful.

I can't say much now in regards to bad things as I'm trying to fix it. It's worst when you have a problem and you have to wait so long to find a solution.

With that in mind what's new? 
Well tried to quit my job and ended up staying because discounts on shoes are wonderful since Running is still a prominent thing in my life.

I love my Fitbit. It helps keep me self motivated. I definitely have been struggling the last week to get myself out. 

"I don't about you but I'm feeling 22"
that's my anthem for the next year? I guess it beats Blink 182 and nobody liking you

Ellie Goulding was awesome. I hope I can see her live again and I look forward to future albums. Also she makes me feel better about being a white girl and having poor dancing skills. 

Yesterday wasn't the worst birthday I've had (nothing trumps the year I got strep throat and had to cancel) but I've had better

Working along with personal issues of anxiety and depression do not make for a fun day.

Also fun fact when I say I don't want to go out...that's actually what I mean. 

Fingers crossed I get a new job on the mountain. Odds are looking good so far. 
Summer classes because I am determined to make graduation as reality.

Also NYC I'm coming for you. It's happening.

Boyfriend and I have been together 25 months (2 years and 1 month)
That's crazy. And awesome. But mostly crazy

He also won the SunRun. I'm dating a champion. I'm like a Trophy wife but not really. I'm calling myself that for now until I come up with a better title that's shorter then "Dating future paralympian"

I do hope 2014 is a better year. So far I am doubtful. 
Next year will be amazing because of PJ I know that. 

It's been over 8 months since World Moot I miss my international patrol. I miss Rovering in general. 

Luckily the Skeetpocalypse will fix that. 
As well as Byng
I love the Coast. 
//

You're in Milwaukee, off your feet

Bon Iver is on repeat today. 

I love his sound it's unfortunate that when i go on a binge of listening to him it's because I'm depressed. 

I somehow neglected writing here. Life happens. 

Uncle Joe passed away. Remembrance day was extremely hard. So much has changed in my family. Sister now lives on the island so I feel like an only child most of the time. 

Halloween came & went. 

School this semester has been up & down, but it definitely looks like I'll complete my degree by December 2014. That's only a year away. It's terrifingly wonderful. 

I would be lying if I said things were better. In some ways they are, but I still have a long way to go. There are days I wake up and I feel like I can take on the world. But today I woke up not wanting to leave bed and wanting to hide away from the world

Change doesn't happen over night as much as I wish it would. 
I really have lost weight. I beat my 10k time again, rolled my ankle during a half but it's doing fine now. and Here's hoping that I will rock future halfs in 2014. I've already signed up for two. 

I'm not really excited for Christmas . I'm actually more excited for the new year. 

I didn't end up going to Mardigras, I'll probably only make it to RoVent. But it should be a blast as it's the 40th year. 

I have a lot of growing up to do. I need to get this driving thing over with.  

Work is fine. I wish there was more of it. 

I've discovered trail running, I hope to do more of it next year and participate in some 5peaks races if I can. Racing is becoming an expensive habit but I love the friends I'm making. I'm inspired and motivated. 

I don't know what else to say, other then I'm really anxious about a lot of things and I really don't know what to do. 

I just wish I could fix things

Project Management was the biggest waste of time. Thank goodness I never have to take that class again. 

//

Coming to a close

It seems like just yesterday it was my birthday. My birthday means summer to me. Thank you University for ending at the end of April and giving me 4 months of time off .

I don't like summer. Never have really. Summers have never been awesome. I've done the summer camp thing both scouting and otherwise. I recall the Summer when the strike happened at Telus . It wasn't fun for my family. 

Another summer has come and gone.

Canadian jamboree was a 6/10. I don't know if I'll go to another one

Moot was at least at 7.5/10. I will go to Iceland for sure.

I made mistakes. I did my best. and now here we are coming into the Labour Day long weekend. 

I beat my 10k time. I plan to do it 2 more times before 2013 is over. As well as at least one more half.  

I start 4th year soon. I should be more excited but I'm not. 

Sister starts college soon. I feel old because of this. 

I want to go to Mardigras Prom. But I doubt I will because I don't feel up to it and I think I'm expecting it to be more awesome then it actually will be. 

It's too early for Pumpkin Spice lattes
//

Well that happened

I started something different in March. It's not my choice. I'm more or less being forced.
It's now almost the end of July and is it possible that things are going to get worse? I have choices to make which could make me feel better. But what if I'm not the same person after I make those choices? I'd rather be me and unhappy. Then happy and someone I'm not..

I can't stop crying . I cry every other day it seems. I hate most of my life. And I miss a lot more things that aren't in it. 

I'm a flake . Yet I don't feel needed by any of my friends....or anyone for that matter.

I just want to be happy and see progress. I want to see change.

I can't even be excited on the fact that I completed 2 half marathons and I will probably do 2 more if I play my cards right.

I'm not excited for school like I normally am. I'm not excited for Moot...
I can't get excited about anything...

I feel like Brian Wilson. All I wanna do is hide out from the world and lay in bed all day...but I can't do that..
//

21 years, 21km

Am I really 21? It doesn't feel like it at all. 

I ran a half Marathon. 4 months of training. 4 days a week roughly. I pushed myself. I set my mind to it and I did it.

I've already signed up for another one.
I'm excited

I have a job. I work at my local running room. It's pretty swell. I'm a key holder.

I'm more active then ever. I start my journey of clean eating this week. Wish me luck. It shall be tough. It won't happen over night. But every bit of change is progress.

And I know I'm better then I was last year!

CJ is less then 2 months away. I wanna be in the best shape of my life before then. If possible.  Or at least take advantage of all this free time I have with my minimal shifts

I plan to make all the money in June. it'll be good. Bring it on sidewalk sale. 

I need to stop making excuses. I'm researching clean eating. I like what i'm reading. If I say I'm gonna do something I'll do it. Like running. I can do this.

Wish me luck as always

And don't forget to vote
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Catch up

I'm doing my best to stick with everything
This 365
Running
Working out overall

The job hunt has begun.
3 places so far. Determined to avoid going back to the mountain. Got A's on both midterms. In fact I am really rocking school at the moment

Looks like Grad won't be till 2015 but no summer classes next year. 

Counting down to April

Excited for May

Here's hoping the Universe plays in my favour in regards to work
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