Whirring

I can't stop thinking about last night. Moot planning, pizza, cake, walking with you. I spent all afternoon looking forward to seeing you. I wish I could have seen you longer. Age isn't an issue. I'm happy to hear that for once. 


As time passes I'm realizing more and more how serious my self esteem problem is. If I have to ask a cute boy to stop complementing me then I think there's a issue.. 


I don't believe in false hope. I don't believe in building something up. I don't like lying to myself. I feel like I should though. But then I'm repeating high school in a lot of ways...masking my emotions. I don't like doing that. I'm a happier person. 


I looked back to my older blog....I can't believe how much as changed. In fact this has me thinking about the summer. I will take 3 classes and survive. I will hike, photograph,camp, see friends, party , work. It'll be great. 


Yesterday was a long but wonderful day. Wrote 2 quizzes, gave a speech. I have 1 speech, 2 finals, 1 group project, 1 paper, and my Un Simulation. Then freedom. 


Doctor. Please call. The longer the wait the more nervous I get.


Maybe that's what it is...after this surgery..what if I regret it? What if I regret my decision? 


I hope we can be friends eventually. I feel like that may never happen sometimes. 


The Usual Suspects have really split apart. More so then last year. I'm curious to see how the summer will play out because of it.


I'm going to Kelowna. Must buy passes today. History paper I must finish and cite. I hate citing. I'm looking forward to working in the brilliant sunshine. Maybe getting some colour on my face. Mind you I love the snow white look. 


Can't believe it's almost April. 


I'm looking forward to you returning to Vancouver but now I'm not sure what will happen with us. 


Oh my heart . 
//

Young Blood

Things on my mind
- Kelowna
- You
- School 
- Summer Semester
- Surgery 
- Birthday
- Moot
- Still You
- The fact that I might be falling hard for somebody
- Roger Waters


I'm going to Rammstein now too. Hurrah for people who can't make shows and I get there tickets. 


Went to the states with my Dad. We don't really hang out just the two of us. We have been now just because my sister and mother are off travelling. 


This weekend the weather is suppose to be sunny and wonderful. I'm pleased about this. Today I debate a skirt . 


Brad has got to be one of the best friends I could ever ask for me. And is going to help me with a contest but I gotta keep that on the hush.


I fell of the wagon with working out but I still lost a bit more weight. Just gotta keep it up best I can. 


Snow Patrol and Coldplay next month. Should be sick. 
//

You're the Hugh Hefner of Women

That's what I got called today by one of my classmates. Then another calling me "Lady of the Night"


I have some truly wonderful and interesting friends. I have met some fascinating people at school and throughout the scouting movement. 


Today was suppose to be bad. Yesterday was bad. Tuesday was great. 50/50 pie cuddles. I like you I think. I think you like me too. Question is you don't know what you really want. Plus you seem to be a little hesitant with committing. 


Wednesday I had to cancel beavers due to the fact that I didn't have enough leaders. Had mother and sister not left that day for travel . Oh well. I hardly ever cancel and no one was upset about it. 


Today i woke up with a pounding headache and couldn't breathe. I can feel Spring beginning. It's my least favourite season. 


Tonight i went out for pizza with classmates then i went bowling with some friends. I hung with Brad and it felt weird. I see him almost every week but I didn't last week. We don't talk everyday but we manage to have our awesome friendship. 


It's crunch time. Moot, Finals, working every weekend. People keep asking me how I manage to work do school, scouting and pursue boys. Time management skills. If there's one thing I can do well. it's that. 


I registered for summer courses. Might have to drop if I get surgery in May. Which would be good and bad. I think about that late at night. I don't really hate hospitals but I don't like tubes going into me. 


I hope the weather is less stormy this weekend . Mother nature has been extra crazy this week. I feel like she's testing me. 


I should sleep....it's been a long day and I have a lot to do tomorrow..
//