Whirring

I can't stop thinking about last night. Moot planning, pizza, cake, walking with you. I spent all afternoon looking forward to seeing you. I wish I could have seen you longer. Age isn't an issue. I'm happy to hear that for once. 


As time passes I'm realizing more and more how serious my self esteem problem is. If I have to ask a cute boy to stop complementing me then I think there's a issue.. 


I don't believe in false hope. I don't believe in building something up. I don't like lying to myself. I feel like I should though. But then I'm repeating high school in a lot of ways...masking my emotions. I don't like doing that. I'm a happier person. 


I looked back to my older blog....I can't believe how much as changed. In fact this has me thinking about the summer. I will take 3 classes and survive. I will hike, photograph,camp, see friends, party , work. It'll be great. 


Yesterday was a long but wonderful day. Wrote 2 quizzes, gave a speech. I have 1 speech, 2 finals, 1 group project, 1 paper, and my Un Simulation. Then freedom. 


Doctor. Please call. The longer the wait the more nervous I get.


Maybe that's what it is...after this surgery..what if I regret it? What if I regret my decision? 


I hope we can be friends eventually. I feel like that may never happen sometimes. 


The Usual Suspects have really split apart. More so then last year. I'm curious to see how the summer will play out because of it.


I'm going to Kelowna. Must buy passes today. History paper I must finish and cite. I hate citing. I'm looking forward to working in the brilliant sunshine. Maybe getting some colour on my face. Mind you I love the snow white look. 


Can't believe it's almost April. 


I'm looking forward to you returning to Vancouver but now I'm not sure what will happen with us. 


Oh my heart . 
//