Anything Could Happen

This seems appropriate considering my last post featured Ellie Goulding.

I'm a blogging, writing mood, so let's ramble and see where we go shall we?

The summer happened. I took classes and will get a certificate alongside my degree so that's rather neat.

Working at Summer Camps turned out to be a bit of a bust, but it was an experience none the less. The universe then presented the opportunity of working for the Capilano Student's Union. I officially left Running Room in August, and now also work an independent running store alongside my CSU job. So that's a plus.

I ended my long term relationship which last post I was beyond stoked about. Funny how things change . He didn't love me any more and we wanted different things. I am bitter and upset about it but I am moving forward and focusing on myself and what I want in the future. Yes that's blunt. Yes it seems mean but I don't see a point in sugar coating it. Maybe we can be friends one day, but not right now.

With this I have plans to runaway to Europe for a couple months in the fall. It's high time I did something for me.

School has been good. I officially graduate next Spring. I got through critical thinking which was amazing.

Both my dogs are gone. Shortly after break up they both passed away. I miss having a dog to cuddle when I come home after a rough day.  Bad things happen in threes. So I'm done now I think

I'm seeing someone. Sure most think I've moved to fast. But the nice part about an open relationship is it takes a lot of pressure off and the traditional relationship is a lot more work and effort then I'm willing to put in right now.

He makes me smile. I enjoy his company and respects me. I call it a win.

Driving is non existent. Anxiety is mangeable as well as depression but we shall see how NYE goes, considering the last time I was single I was a bit of a hot mess.

2015 holds a lot in store for me. I look forward to what the universe will present to me.

I'm doing ok. I really do mean that.

Sure I'm lonely. Sure I'm sad but it's getting better. Time heals everything. Cliche it's so true.

I want to improve my fitness . I want to get this driving thing dealt with. Like put it to rest.

2014 is not ending how I thought it would. But it always could be worse.

I do miss a lot of things. But I know things will get better

"I'm on a rollercoaster that only goes up my friend"
I spend way too much time looking up John Green but this quote is perfect here
//

Starry Eyed

In some ways things are terribly wonderful! In other ways they are just awful.

I can't say much now in regards to bad things as I'm trying to fix it. It's worst when you have a problem and you have to wait so long to find a solution.

With that in mind what's new? 
Well tried to quit my job and ended up staying because discounts on shoes are wonderful since Running is still a prominent thing in my life.

I love my Fitbit. It helps keep me self motivated. I definitely have been struggling the last week to get myself out. 

"I don't about you but I'm feeling 22"
that's my anthem for the next year? I guess it beats Blink 182 and nobody liking you

Ellie Goulding was awesome. I hope I can see her live again and I look forward to future albums. Also she makes me feel better about being a white girl and having poor dancing skills. 

Yesterday wasn't the worst birthday I've had (nothing trumps the year I got strep throat and had to cancel) but I've had better

Working along with personal issues of anxiety and depression do not make for a fun day.

Also fun fact when I say I don't want to go out...that's actually what I mean. 

Fingers crossed I get a new job on the mountain. Odds are looking good so far. 
Summer classes because I am determined to make graduation as reality.

Also NYC I'm coming for you. It's happening.

Boyfriend and I have been together 25 months (2 years and 1 month)
That's crazy. And awesome. But mostly crazy

He also won the SunRun. I'm dating a champion. I'm like a Trophy wife but not really. I'm calling myself that for now until I come up with a better title that's shorter then "Dating future paralympian"

I do hope 2014 is a better year. So far I am doubtful. 
Next year will be amazing because of PJ I know that. 

It's been over 8 months since World Moot I miss my international patrol. I miss Rovering in general. 

Luckily the Skeetpocalypse will fix that. 
As well as Byng
I love the Coast. 
//

You're in Milwaukee, off your feet

Bon Iver is on repeat today. 

I love his sound it's unfortunate that when i go on a binge of listening to him it's because I'm depressed. 

I somehow neglected writing here. Life happens. 

Uncle Joe passed away. Remembrance day was extremely hard. So much has changed in my family. Sister now lives on the island so I feel like an only child most of the time. 

Halloween came & went. 

School this semester has been up & down, but it definitely looks like I'll complete my degree by December 2014. That's only a year away. It's terrifingly wonderful. 

I would be lying if I said things were better. In some ways they are, but I still have a long way to go. There are days I wake up and I feel like I can take on the world. But today I woke up not wanting to leave bed and wanting to hide away from the world

Change doesn't happen over night as much as I wish it would. 
I really have lost weight. I beat my 10k time again, rolled my ankle during a half but it's doing fine now. and Here's hoping that I will rock future halfs in 2014. I've already signed up for two. 

I'm not really excited for Christmas . I'm actually more excited for the new year. 

I didn't end up going to Mardigras, I'll probably only make it to RoVent. But it should be a blast as it's the 40th year. 

I have a lot of growing up to do. I need to get this driving thing over with.  

Work is fine. I wish there was more of it. 

I've discovered trail running, I hope to do more of it next year and participate in some 5peaks races if I can. Racing is becoming an expensive habit but I love the friends I'm making. I'm inspired and motivated. 

I don't know what else to say, other then I'm really anxious about a lot of things and I really don't know what to do. 

I just wish I could fix things

Project Management was the biggest waste of time. Thank goodness I never have to take that class again. 

//

Coming to a close

It seems like just yesterday it was my birthday. My birthday means summer to me. Thank you University for ending at the end of April and giving me 4 months of time off .

I don't like summer. Never have really. Summers have never been awesome. I've done the summer camp thing both scouting and otherwise. I recall the Summer when the strike happened at Telus . It wasn't fun for my family. 

Another summer has come and gone.

Canadian jamboree was a 6/10. I don't know if I'll go to another one

Moot was at least at 7.5/10. I will go to Iceland for sure.

I made mistakes. I did my best. and now here we are coming into the Labour Day long weekend. 

I beat my 10k time. I plan to do it 2 more times before 2013 is over. As well as at least one more half.  

I start 4th year soon. I should be more excited but I'm not. 

Sister starts college soon. I feel old because of this. 

I want to go to Mardigras Prom. But I doubt I will because I don't feel up to it and I think I'm expecting it to be more awesome then it actually will be. 

It's too early for Pumpkin Spice lattes
//

Well that happened

I started something different in March. It's not my choice. I'm more or less being forced.
It's now almost the end of July and is it possible that things are going to get worse? I have choices to make which could make me feel better. But what if I'm not the same person after I make those choices? I'd rather be me and unhappy. Then happy and someone I'm not..

I can't stop crying . I cry every other day it seems. I hate most of my life. And I miss a lot more things that aren't in it. 

I'm a flake . Yet I don't feel needed by any of my friends....or anyone for that matter.

I just want to be happy and see progress. I want to see change.

I can't even be excited on the fact that I completed 2 half marathons and I will probably do 2 more if I play my cards right.

I'm not excited for school like I normally am. I'm not excited for Moot...
I can't get excited about anything...

I feel like Brian Wilson. All I wanna do is hide out from the world and lay in bed all day...but I can't do that..
//

21 years, 21km

Am I really 21? It doesn't feel like it at all. 

I ran a half Marathon. 4 months of training. 4 days a week roughly. I pushed myself. I set my mind to it and I did it.

I've already signed up for another one.
I'm excited

I have a job. I work at my local running room. It's pretty swell. I'm a key holder.

I'm more active then ever. I start my journey of clean eating this week. Wish me luck. It shall be tough. It won't happen over night. But every bit of change is progress.

And I know I'm better then I was last year!

CJ is less then 2 months away. I wanna be in the best shape of my life before then. If possible.  Or at least take advantage of all this free time I have with my minimal shifts

I plan to make all the money in June. it'll be good. Bring it on sidewalk sale. 

I need to stop making excuses. I'm researching clean eating. I like what i'm reading. If I say I'm gonna do something I'll do it. Like running. I can do this.

Wish me luck as always

And don't forget to vote
//

Catch up

I'm doing my best to stick with everything
This 365
Running
Working out overall

The job hunt has begun.
3 places so far. Determined to avoid going back to the mountain. Got A's on both midterms. In fact I am really rocking school at the moment

Looks like Grad won't be till 2015 but no summer classes next year. 

Counting down to April

Excited for May

Here's hoping the Universe plays in my favour in regards to work
//

Less & More

Less stress, more relaxation, less instagram, more flickr, less social media, more outdoor time, more scouting,less worry, more water, less pop, more effort, less doubt, more running , less excuses, more confidence, less anxiety, more challenges, less freak outs, more celebrations, less worrying about the future.
//

Tis the Season

This was certaintly not an easy Christmas. I do miss my Beavers. It has been a year. I will keep them in my memory. I miss my Grandfather as well. But I do thank all of family and friends who have been supporting me this holiday season.

Haven't been working much lately. It's weird to have free time to actually run again. I signed up for a half marathon clinic starting on the 1st. I'm kicking off 2013 with a bang. I hurt my knee at work but so far running has been ok

Watched the Hunchback of Notre Dame with the boy. I simply love the music. I then proceeded to watch Hercules. Who puts the glad in gladiator? 

I'm rather worried about the new year and how things will play out. 

I ran 5km on the weekend. It was hard but I need the endorphins . especially now. 

Went to my first Bachelorette party. Magic Mike wasn't as awesome as I thought it would be. But fun times were had. 

I worry too much. What else is new?

Still don't have New Years Plans. I would honestly rather just sleep. It would be better then last years events that for sure. 

I need more sleep but I can't seem to get it despite the fact I haven't worked much this week. 

My record player is set up. Here's to starting a vinyl collection. 
//

So wait up I'm not sleeping alone again

Alexisonfire Farewell Tour. It's a shame that Dallas Green's fame has caused this band to "retire" as it were. Regardless I got a tshirt rocked out and I seemed to be one of the only people wearing ear plugs that evening. 

Somehow managed to get Bbq on my backpack and hair. Not sure how. Tristan thought it was blood on his arm initially. 

I believe the tram life has ruined my left ear. It still pops randomly. 

It's been a year since 2 of my Beavers and there mother were killed in a car accident. It's hard to believe a year went by that quickly. It's odd to miss them but I do. 

I'm feeling rather blue this holiday season because of that. Alongside the passing of my Grandfather. 

4 days till Christmas? It certainly doesn't feel like it. 

I think things are really going to keep changing come the new year. This year has marked a lot of that. Some changes more obvious then others. 

I miss my girls and i don't know if I'll be seeing them much this holiday break. I'm actually excited for the Spring Semester. And have already decided on 2 courses for the Summer. I hope to take 3 if I can find a 3rd class. 

The snowpocalypse has ended for now. The Portmann was destroying cars. I believe this known as a design flaw.
//

Blame it on my A.D.D Baby

Awolnation. That was one of those moments from the summer that still reels in my mind. The base dropping. The crowd cheering. The hot sticky heat. 

I've been missing summer a lot lately. This isn't normal for me. Summer has never been my favourite time of year. But with the stress of finals I've been missing it. 

Finals finished today. Paid Spring tuition. Got a new phone that almost works. Silly network. 

Getting rather frustrated with the state of affairs. I had different image of where I would be right now. 

I adore you very much. Do you know that? And we can do this. We can do anything really. 

I've been missing a lot of things. I miss Ivo a lot. Christmas is going to be hard I feel. But I do love my family and all the support I can draw from them. Van Dusen Gardens put on a lovely honour a life ceremony. We all wrote down messages on these paper hearts which are actually seeds. I like that. I really do. 

The Christmas Market was lovely. The boy and I enjoyed wine and pretzels. I saw the Killers with Leslie. I enjoyed the nostalgia. I hadn't see the band since I was 14. That was my first concert by myself. My how things have evolved since then. 

Looking forward to starting over in 2013. Somewhat at least. One Beaver meeting left before 2012 is out.

12/12/12 today. Repetitive dates are neat. New job goes well. No walking dead till February. 

Alexisonfire next week. I cannot wait. 

The world is ending...is that still happening?
//

Life happened

I quit a job then got a new one a week later. Much easier then compared to the summer when I couldn't even get a Mcjob. 

I am now on the Youth Spokes person team for Scouts Canada. Keep an eye out for me in the media in the new year. 

I went to Hipster Moot. Spray paint art was made. It was lovely. Just like you of course. 
Things are getting rough in Scouting. I will do my best to rise above. 

RoVent. Did I mention I'm helping at it? I want to be helpful I've suggested a theme and we are going with it. Here's to new experiences in 2013

I've hurt my knee. I don't know what I did. But it hurts when I walk. I'm going to the Doctor for this and multiple reasons. I guess that means calling them. I hate doing that. 

I went to Ottawa for YSP training. I met Craig Kielburger. he's handsome and very nice. Learned lots about branding, advertising, international scouting. I watched the AGM. I shall miss you Steve Kent. You did a lot of great things but I'm sure our paths will cross again. I got to meet some people face to face. I met my moot Contingent leader. I learned more about CJ. 
Next summer is going to be quite amazing that's for sure. 

Sunday was training training and more training. The flight home was rough but boyfriend graciously assisted in picking me up and dropping me off at the airport over the weekend. 

Classes have wrapped up. I saw Dan Mangan last month with Tristan. Probably the best performance I've seen so far. I missed the PPP this year but it was probably for the better. 

Finals finish on the 12th then it's retail hell for awhile. I survived Black Friday so that's a start. I enjoy money and the environment I'm in so it'll all be worth it. 

Looking at half marathon training, DOE, and lots of other plans for 2013.  

Time to go read some more. And eat some ginger snaps
//

"You're new. Don't expect so much of yourself"

Work goes well. School goes well. I conquered a philosophy paper

I completed a 10k a week ago. It took the whole day to really sink in. It's nice to be reminded then when I set my mind to it. I can achieve. 

So here's to continuing on with that. Because I'd like this to be a hobby. Not just an excersise routine.

Applying for a Scouting Position cross your fingers. 

Apple Day was on saturday. It was a wet success. 

Went to a Cat Party. Twas nice to see the Rovers. I miss seeing them as much as I use to. I showed off my scars. They were all rather impressed. 

I wonder how I'll feel about them a year from now. 

I'm genuinely worried about the state of certain things. And more or less how things will play out. I am curious as to what the universe has planned.

This isn't how I pictured 3rd year. But things I know could be so much worse.

October means halloween...this means finding a costume.

I have UBC speaking gig. I plan to see my cousin this week, I may try and get over my fear and donate blood.

I just don't like IVs is all
//

Jack of All Trades , Master of None

City & Colour is a go to these days. Dallas Green's voice has quite a soothing quality. 

Rather irritated. But I won't let this get to me. This is not the end. Things will work out. 

6 months? When was the last time that happened? Relationships aren't foreign but they seemed to be all of last year...

Running has become a great stress release. Here's hoping that stays. 10 k is 9 days away. I see myself being a runner now. If you asked me that 2 months ago.. I would have called you crazy. But I have to try. I want this running thing to be a hobby. Not just an excersise routine

I miss my ladies. Alberta is full of work I hear but it's still rather far. 

I must write more. Especially here. It's not quite as advertised but not super private. I can vent more. I can't let the little things get to me. As much as they do.

September is almost over. Next thing you know everyone will be panicing about the end of the world...that's still happening right?

I miss Ivo a lot lately. Thanksgiving will be very hard. First with boy. First without Ivo. 

In fact I miss a lot of things. There's things I don't miss. Going to Central gave lots of nostalgia. I miss chats with Miss Taylor, I don't miss the way I was in Grade 12. I've come far in a lot of ways . Less in others. 

"I guess I take after my mother"

With the Seasons

Sunday was my last shift on the mountain. 2 years. Countless trips up and down, so many memories. Very bittersweet. I shall miss the views and my coworkers. But I am enjoying my new job

My choral dreams are on hold. The running goes well. I'm thinking more races. And going more often school and work permitting. 

Edward Sharpe was rather lovely. Minus the drunkard who wandered around stage running the encore. 

I don't feel like I'm in 3rd year yet. I don't even feel like it's halfway through September. 
Mardigras is next week. Here's hoping I can go. 

Resisting the urge to spend money on concerts. I have jamborees to save for. 

I'm very worried for next summer. But as well terribly excited. 

I've started pondering Halloween. I feel like I should dress up but it just isn't my thing. I'm perfectly content to just hang at home. 

I haven't been sleeping as well as I normally do. I have too much running through my mind. Mostly on my future and achieving certain goals. 

I'm helping at RoVent now. Should be fun I hope
//

The week of firsts

First week back.
It's 3rd year now. Scary. But wonderful

All elective courses. So I'm lonely in my classes. But not really. I make friends wherever I go.

First choir rehersal. It was full of pie. I'm looking forward to singing again. It still brings me such joy. 

First day of my new job. I've joined the world of retail. It's a 15 minute commute. I am looking forward to mastering my job. (eventually)

Ran 5k. Half way through training. Tonight run again. Tomorrow run again. Just go often. It's all you can do.

Rover Moot page has been launched. 

I've signed up to write for the school paper, I still have Beavers to organize.

It's going to be an interesting remainder of the year. 

I still have a letter to write.
//

Neglect. (But not intentional)

It would seem summer and life got ahead of me. 
Let's do some catch up.

My surgery was a success. There were many tears I was frightened but my boyfriend came along and 8 weeks later fully healed. Returning to work I got a lot of "Did you lose weight?" "You look different" comments. My uniform fleece looks too big for me now.

I have scars and am glad with the choice I made. I already feel better and it hasn't even been 3 months yet. 

Watched Foster the People at Deer Lake. They did do the song that everyone knows but I love there sound so much.

Keloha was a blast. I can't wait to go again next year. Copious amounts of sushi, summer heat, swimmin in the lake, and of course I met Dan Mangan again. He was rather impressed with my fan made shirt. I already have tickets for his November show. Row 8. 

Tristan and I went away for a couple days. Nelson Island to be more specific. It's on the Sunshine coast and I refer to it as a beautiful middle of no where. The place means a lot to him and it meant so much to him that I could come and get the time off work. 

On a sadder tone My grandfather Ivo passed away. I will miss him dearly. The funeral was  a nice service and the priest even knew my grandfather on a personal level and got quite worked up when speaking about him. I will not forget and I will treasure the memories. Thank you to all my friends and family who have been there for me during this time. 

I went to another metal show this year. Iron maiden. It was on the Floor and it was all sorts of epic. I enjoy my Canadian tour shirt with a Moose on it. 

Florence + The Machine was wonderful. I am now a red head because of her. 3 shades to be specific. I still love my black hair but it's time for a change. 

My cousin has moved here. We spent the day at my work and explored the Northshore. I look forward to future hang outs now that she is living in the same city as me. 

I went Bungee Jumping and paragliding for the second time. Been having quite a few adventures this summer. 

The final one being Live at Squamish this weekend. Bard on the Beach next week and Gotye next friday.

Tuition is paid for the fall. I'm looking forward to 3rd year. 

I've signed up for a 10k race. I can run 4k non stop. I hope to be running 10 by the end of September. Here's to setting goals and trying something different.

It's raining out today but I am completely ok with that. 

Here's hoping I can get off the mountain soon. And start things differently come the fall.
//

All & All it was just bricks in the wall..

Roger Waters was even more amazing then I could have ever imagined. I can't even believe still I got to see it..and the show was over a week ago. 


It was nice to see jackish, parker and chyka. And it's nice to get along . Well at least in person and for now anyways.


I was very happy when I woke up this morning..but now due to stress..I've lost complete appetite. 


Tristan had his birthday. I gave him a watch. he has never owned one prior. Noodle box was consumed.


I managed to rock my midterms , both paper proposals, and am doing super well on my online course. I thought it was going to be the hardest since it's online but nice to see my work ethic since planning 10 has since improved. Summer classes are so much more fun then I thought they would be. 


Saw Idina Menzel with Tamara Smith. It was amazing. 3rd row in the front on the right. We were so close it was just spectacular. 


Tiffany graduated from BCIT. Booyah. I partied with the Rovers and Tristan. Was it weird? Not at all actually. I drank but not too much since my job still manages to steal sleep from me. It's weird how people change and with studying sociology I find myself staring at people and watching there behaviours. 


One week. Wednesday is blood tests and paperwork. Monday it begins. Although I slept well this morning I just stared at the ceiling...trying to clear my head and tell myself it's all going to be fine..but I just don't know that yet. 


All I can hope for is a fast recovery. 


I'm still not excited for summer. All I can think about is surgery and work. And where to go from here?


Least school I have a better idea. Possibly getting a magazine publishing certificate, then finishing bachelors, then getting a diploma at BCIT...hello school till I'm 25? I don't mind. 


It's all going to be worth it in the end. 
//

When the Tigers Broke Free

Oddly enough it's one of my favourite songs from the Wall movie even if it isn't on the original album.


But i digress.


Birthday and Moot were awesome. 60 plus Rovers came out for an amazing weekend. First time camping with boy too. Fires, jello shots of spicyness and good friends were to be had. No rain no injuries. It was great.


Got a 50 mm lens for my birthday. Hopefully I'll purchase a Rapid Strap soon. I also today purchased a Coolpix camera. Something I can take to parties this summer, and as well Kehloa and Live at Squamish . 


Snow Patrol put on amazing show. Boy came along which made it all the more awesome. I've also gained parental trust. Nice to know that now I'm 20 I'm being treated more like an adult. 


Did I mention that ? I'm now 20 years old? It's eerie and wonderful.


I went to the bar friday, got drunk and apparently according to some trucker hats suit me. My mother does not agree but such is life.


I'm content with my life. I'm sitting at an ideal weight and am taking a health and nutrition course online at school. 3 credits plus hopefully a change in my eating habits. Not that there bad but I don't eat enough now...which is never good. 


Surgery is scheduled. Commence freak out. 


Summer classes began today. GPA rose in the spring. It can only get better from here. Profs are funny and energetic it didn't even feel like I had 6 hours of lectures today. Seriously time flew.


Tomorrow sleep, gym , shennanigans with brad, beavers then copious amounts of reading..which I may even do tonight.  


Going to Rock of Ages with mother on Thursday, then Great Lake Swimmers, then Rammstein that is if I can get my shift covered. 


Just one major thing I need to get sorted and this summer should be amazing. 


Polaroid pictures are lovely. Why did film have to become a thing of the past?


The Avengers is amazing. Go see it if you already haven't. 


Now time to read some sociology...society is more interesting that I thought it would be
//

Charlie Brown

Not just a cartoon character but my favourite track off the new Coldplay album. 


I hated how I missed them when they were here in 2009. I was beyond stoked that I got to see them this year. Not only that . I got VIP seats and although i wasn't on the floor I had an amazing view of the stage. Chris Martin your dance moves combined with piano make my heart melt. 


Surprise visits are the best kind. I can't wait till you move closer. It can only get better from there. 


Photography is a must this summer. Can't wait to do the Tourist challenge and have an excuse to play with Floyd. 


First final written. One to go. Then a week off. Then summer semester. Then who knows? Some plans are set. Others are not. 


Moot is less then a week away. Along with 20th birthday. 


Friends grad show is next week. Must introduce new boy to friends. Most who' have met him like him. This is good. 


Content with weight for now. It's all about perspective. I plan to focus on that more this summer. Being active. Not sitting for too long. Must look at Bikram yoga again. Might do pilates with mother. We shall see. 


I feel like the year is going too fast...where did January go? 


Next show is Snow Patrol with best friend Brad. Very much excited for that. 


This is the beginning of something really special. I'm not just saying that. It's frightening and wonderful. 


Roger Waters is next month. Pardon me whilst I try not to freak out. 


I am going to donate blood. I will get over my fear. After that I'll get another piercing. Makes perfect sense in my mind. 


//